Bad Princess Movies

Beastly (2011)

We're closing up the Halloween season with a slightly belated spooky movie: This week we're taking a look at Beastly, a modern take on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale. Beastly is no doubt someone's specific cup of tea, but it's certainly not ours (I guess that means we "Don't embrace the suck?"). Come and join us as we discuss among other things unlikeable protagonists, our own high school experiences, and the classic Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen bop "Gimme Pizza". 

Foodfight! (2012)

The podcast has finally awakened from our long summer slumber and we're doing a bit of catch up by taking a look at the movie Kristi selected to celebrate her birthday... which is not a Princess movie by any stretch of the imagination, but were it not for this movie teaching Kristi that bad movies can be incredibly fascinating, there probably wouldn't be a Bad Princess Movie podcast at all! So come and join us as we... well, as we mostly rant about the wild production stories surrounding Foodfight!, but we also talk about tiny plastic surgeons, no name products, and how Wayne Brady deserved so much better than this movie. 

The Princess and the Goblin (1991)

Get ready to sing and stomp some Goblin feet, this week we're taking a look at The Princess and the Goblin. This film is yet another childhood favourite film for me, but Bri's never seen it before so she's on board to keep my nostalgia in check. Come and join us as we discuss among other things goblins Queens and their stone shoes, magical old ladies and the threads they spin, and whether or not Prince Froglip should be put in the running for Tumblr Sexyman. 

We'll be starting a summer vacation after this episode, see ya'll in the fall for more episodes!

The Swan Princess (1994)

I thought we were done with the Swan Princess series for a bit, but it turns out the siren song of the first movie was too hard to resist. So we're journeying back 30 years in the past to watch the very first Swan Princess series. How does this film hold up? And more importantly, what juicy Swan Princess lore will we re-discover? Join us as we discuss among other things our childhood nostalgia for this movie, Rothbart being the best villain the series had to offer, and the unexpected surprise of Lorenzo Trudgealong. 

Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017)

We're celebrating Mer-May the only way we know how, by taking a look at a goofy movie about Mermaid Princesses: Scales: Mermaids are Real. This movie sure the heck tries to make Mermaid puberty seems like a magical thing, while also portraying it as an absolute nightmare (So hey, not too much different than human puberty I suppose?). Come and join us as we discuss among other things mermaid body horror, unnecessary ableist subplots, and how Disney did it better with their Mermaid puberty story, The Thirteenth Year.

The Prince and the Surfer (1999)

We're finishing off our yearly look at movies featuring Prince characters with The Prince and the Surfer, a movie that dares to ask the question "What if Mark Twain was writing for a 90s audience?". This is yet another movie where there was potential to make a decent little family flick, but for whatever reason the story is unfocused, underdeveloped, and worst of all... the titular character doesn't surf! Come and join us as we discuss among other things single Dad's and the subplots that go nowhere, royals that act more like alien visitors than human beings, and whether or not the hoity-toity do indeed like Mini Golf. 

Mio in the Land of Faraway (1987)

It's April once again and you know what that means... all through the month of April the Bad Princess Movies podcast will be taking a look at movies focused on Prince characters. Our first Prince movie for 2024 is Mio in the Land of Faraway, a film based off a novel by the illustrious Astrid Lindgren (Best known for the Pippi Longstocking series). Kristi has a lot of fondness for this movie, but how does Bri enjoy the tale of little Mio in his adventures in the Land of Faraway? Come and join us as we discuss among other things Aunt Edna being the absolute worst, stone-cold villains and their frog-petting ways, and whether or not this film is best viewed at 1.5 times speed. 

Quest for Camelot (1998)

It's that special time of year where we celebrate Bri's birthday by taking a look at a movie of her choice, and this year she's picked the slightly infamous Quest for Camelot. This film was meant to be the crown jewel in Warner Bros. Animation's filmography, but a troubled production and a clear desire to be Disney (Without knowing why the Disney formula actually worked) turned this film into a box office bomb. Come and join us as we discuss among other things transparently evil villain's who somehow end up on the good guys payroll, axe-headed chickens who gotta go fast, and catchy songs that deserved to be in a better film. 

The Fairy Princess And the Unicorn (2019)

Today's we're taking a look at "The Fairy Princess and the Unicorn", also known as "Bayala: A Magical Adventure", which is the much better title given that the titular unicorn only appears on screen for a collective 10 seconds of film time. This movie is based off of the Schleich toy line, and the toys are pretty cool so this movie must be as well, right? Well, sadly this film has a lot of potential but it just doesn't hold our attention (As evidenced by our many tangents in this episode). But there's still some interesting things to mention, so come and join us as we discuss among other things pastel axolotls, beloved crime scene tampering crows, and our potential career as Bayala lore theorizers on Youtube.

Happily N'Ever After 2: Another Bite @ The Apple (2009)

This week we're taking a look at Happily N'Ever After 2: Another Bite @ The Apple, a sequel to a film that we didn't cover because apparently I found the original film so uninteresting that I forgot I had even seen it. Thankfully(?) for us, the sequel film gives us a lot more to chew on, so come and join us as we discuss among other things sequels that didn't need to be sequels, terrible father's being surprised that they have to raise their kids, and my life-long longing to go to the Medieval Times dinner show.