Bad Princess Movies

Three Wishes for Cinderella (1973)

We're ringing in the holidays with a film that... well it has nothing to do with the holidays, unless you happen to live in Norway! We're taking a look at Three Wishes for Cinderella, a Czech film that captured the heart of many Europeans and became a Christmas classic. This movie may not have the traditional hallmarks of a Christmas film (For North Americans, anyways), but it's charming story and characters make it obvious why folks keep coming back to it year after year. Join us as we discuss (among other things) medieval frat boys, enormous hats and the Stepmother's who love them, and how sorting grains from lentils sounds like a great way to spend an evening.

A Very Nutty Christmas (2018)

It's the most wonderful time of the year... time for Nutcracker November! Our yearly look at yet another adaptation of the Nutcracker story. This years adaptation is extra fun because on top of the usual Nutcracker ingredients, we're also adding a hefty splash of the Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movie flavouring. Join us as we discuss (among other things) the worst way you could end a Nutcracker story, who should play Sage Rauru in a live action Ocarina of Time adaptation, why you don't gift your children collectibles for Christmas. 

The Charmings (1987)

Boo! We're celebrating Halloween by a look at some appropriately spooky episodes of a short-lived TV series called "The Charmings" that ran in the late 80s. Have you ever wondered what Snow White and Prince Charming's life would be like if they woke up in late 80s Burbank, California? No? Oh... well, you're gonna find out anyways! Join us as we discuss devilishly charismatic characters, party-planning witches, and the creepiest thing of all: parents who don't respect their children's autonomy. 

Swan Princess 2: Escape from Castle Mountain (1997)

We are but weak sailors on the sea, who once again cannot resist the siren song (Or is that swan song) of the Swan Princess series. This month we're diving into what was the start of the "Sequelitis" that infected the series, with the first of two traditionally animated sequels released in the 90s. What Swan Princess lore have we missed out on by skipping over the original sequels in favour of the CGI ones? Who did they try and get to replace Rothbart? Who is Wendy the Swamp Pig? All will be revealed in this episode!

FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

Hit me one time, hit me twice! We're once again delving into our 90s kid childhoods by taking a look at FernGully: The Last Rainforest. A film that lures you in with it's promises of a fun fairy adventure, only to traumatize you with a villain birthed from your darkest nightmares... Or is that just me?

Join us as we discuss (among other things) the indominable vocal performances of Tim Curry, the rap stylings of Robin Williams, and Jeffrey Katzenberg being a villain straight out of Captain Planet. 

Digimon: The Movie (2000)

July marks Kristi's birthday month and for this year that means the podcast is completely disregarding it's premise in favour of taking a look at a childhood favourite film of hers... Digimon: The Movie. Made by mashing up three separate OVA's into one feature length film, this movie is saddled with a very strange meandering plot... but that didn't stop wee-baby Kristi from loving it (It definitely could've used a lot more of Angemon, though). 

Join us as we... mostly get distracted talking about other Digimon related topics, but there is some discussion of the movie in there too, I swear!

Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016)

We're dipping our toes back into the Barbie-verse by taking a look at Barbie: Star Light Adventure, a Barbie movie that dares to ask "What if Barbie... but in Space?". Well, it turns out you get a lot of the same stuff we're used to in the Barbie direct-to-DVD movies, just with a few more hoverboards and robots thrown into the mix. Come and join us as we discuss among other things: Superficially 'quirky' characters designed to avoid losing any marketability, Space Kings and their love of classical music, and the wasted potential of Pupcorn the alien. We also get sidetracked talking about a local amusement park for a little bit. 

The Little Mermaid (Asylum, 2023)

We're commemorating the end of MerMay by taking yet another look at a Little Mermaid adaptation, this time from our old chums The Asylum. As you might've guessed The Asylum released this adaptation to cash in on the Disney Live Action Little Mermaid adaptation released that same year, though surprisingly their adaptation is animated (Maybe they didn't want to spring for the costs of getting one of those fancy silicone mermaid tails?). 

Come and join us as we discuss (Among other things) bald mermaid villains with confusing motivations, a baffling plot with many a hole, and why it doesn't hurt to try things more than once. 

George and the Dragon (2004)

It's April once again, and that mean it's time for our annual "April Fools" celebration with a look at a movie staring a Prince (Or in this case, a 'Prince-to-be'). We're taking a look at George and the Dragon, a movie that aims to tell the 'real' story of the legend of Saint George. Come and join us as we discuss (Among other things) skateboarding medieval monks, Princess Bride-wannabes, and dragon-proof garbage cans. 

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

We're celebrating Bri's birthday month with a look at a movie of her choosing: Jupiter Ascending! This film is a wild ride from start to finish, and I get to act as the designated "Jupiter Ascending Sherpa" to try and help make sense of it all for Bri, who spends the majority of the summary quietly wheeze-laughing to herself. So come and join us as we discuss (Among other things) Man-Dog-Bird-Alien's and the women who love them, lengthy sci-fi world building that revolves around the consumption of people juice, and why you don't treat your cousin like a chicken. 

(We're coincidentally releasing this on the Trans Day of Visibility, which we didn't realise would happen while recording or we would've mentioned it in the episode. So I'll take the opportunity now to highlight our love and appreciation for Trans people out there! We see you and we value you)