Bad Princess Movies

Swan Lake (Toei Animation, 1981)

We're kicking off the 2025 season of our podcast by checking off a New Year's resolution we've held for many years... that's right, we're finally taking a look at a non-Swan Princess adaptation of the Swan Lake story. Specifically, we're taking a look at Swan Lake, Toei Animation's 1981 adaptation of the classic ballet story. Come and join us as we discuss (Among other things) villains you wanna redeem, barn owls being the softest owls to pet, and whether or not this film ends with a bunch of ghosts or if Kristi just pulled that interpretation out of thin air. 

BONUS: Season 5 Podcast Retrospective

We're wrapping 2024 with our traditional retrospective episode where we look back on what movies we covered on the podcast in the last year. It's our version of a clip show, but one where the recaps get interrupted by tangents about ceiling wasps and Pokemon cards.  

Happy Holidays everyone, see you all in 2025!

A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby (2019)

Happy holidays everyone! In this episode we return for the third and final film in the Christmas Prince series, which follows Queen Amber and King Richard as they meander through their very own Scooby-doo-esque adventure. Curses, Christmas, and a third thing that starts with the letter C, this film has it all! So join us as we only slightly lose our minds talking about 600 year old curses, new york bagels, and the hangry seagulls that roam the west coast of Canada. 

Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

We're celebrating what remains of Nutcracker November by taking a look at Nutcracker and the Four Realms, a Disney-fied sequel of the original Nutcracker tale. Think of it as the Disney Descendants version of the Nutcracker, but with much less choreographed dancing (Which uh, doesn't bode well for a story tied to a famous ballet). Join us as we discuss among other things convoluted villain motivations, Nutcracker characters that don't crack a single nut, and being mommy's favourite child. 

Beastly (2011)

We're closing up the Halloween season with a slightly belated spooky movie: This week we're taking a look at Beastly, a modern take on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale. Beastly is no doubt someone's specific cup of tea, but it's certainly not ours (I guess that means we "Don't embrace the suck?"). Come and join us as we discuss among other things unlikeable protagonists, our own high school experiences, and the classic Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen bop "Gimme Pizza". 

Foodfight! (2012)

The podcast has finally awakened from our long summer slumber and we're doing a bit of catch up by taking a look at the movie Kristi selected to celebrate her birthday... which is not a Princess movie by any stretch of the imagination, but were it not for this movie teaching Kristi that bad movies can be incredibly fascinating, there probably wouldn't be a Bad Princess Movie podcast at all! So come and join us as we... well, as we mostly rant about the wild production stories surrounding Foodfight!, but we also talk about tiny plastic surgeons, no name products, and how Wayne Brady deserved so much better than this movie. 

The Princess and the Goblin (1991)

Get ready to sing and stomp some Goblin feet, this week we're taking a look at The Princess and the Goblin. This film is yet another childhood favourite film for me, but Bri's never seen it before so she's on board to keep my nostalgia in check. Come and join us as we discuss among other things goblins Queens and their stone shoes, magical old ladies and the threads they spin, and whether or not Prince Froglip should be put in the running for Tumblr Sexyman. 

We'll be starting a summer vacation after this episode, see ya'll in the fall for more episodes!

The Swan Princess (1994)

I thought we were done with the Swan Princess series for a bit, but it turns out the siren song of the first movie was too hard to resist. So we're journeying back 30 years in the past to watch the very first Swan Princess series. How does this film hold up? And more importantly, what juicy Swan Princess lore will we re-discover? Join us as we discuss among other things our childhood nostalgia for this movie, Rothbart being the best villain the series had to offer, and the unexpected surprise of Lorenzo Trudgealong. 

Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017)

We're celebrating Mer-May the only way we know how, by taking a look at a goofy movie about Mermaid Princesses: Scales: Mermaids are Real. This movie sure the heck tries to make Mermaid puberty seems like a magical thing, while also portraying it as an absolute nightmare (So hey, not too much different than human puberty I suppose?). Come and join us as we discuss among other things mermaid body horror, unnecessary ableist subplots, and how Disney did it better with their Mermaid puberty story, The Thirteenth Year.

The Prince and the Surfer (1999)

We're finishing off our yearly look at movies featuring Prince characters with The Prince and the Surfer, a movie that dares to ask the question "What if Mark Twain was writing for a 90s audience?". This is yet another movie where there was potential to make a decent little family flick, but for whatever reason the story is unfocused, underdeveloped, and worst of all... the titular character doesn't surf! Come and join us as we discuss among other things single Dad's and the subplots that go nowhere, royals that act more like alien visitors than human beings, and whether or not the hoity-toity do indeed like Mini Golf.