Bad Princess Movies

The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute (2022)

We're celebrating a very short Nutcracker November by taking a look at a recent adaptation of E.T.A. Hoffmann's holiday classic: Nutcracker and the Magic Flute. This adaptation doesn't have a lot to do with the classic plot of the Nutcracker, but if you've seen a half dozen Nutcracker films before like we have, that ends up being one of the movie's greatest strengths. As for the movie's other strengths?... well, you'll have to tune in to find out. So join us as we discuss among other things scheming ostrich's with no qualms about moving dead bodies, Rat Queen's and their seemingly endless supply of sleeping potions, and how you can use the Phantom of the Opera as a way to judge whether or not you want to accept a job offer. 

Bluebeard / The Worn Out Dancing Shoes (Grimm’s Fairy Tale Classics, 1987)

Boo! We're wrapping up the Halloween season with a spooky double feature! We're taking a look at two episodes from the Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics series that felt like a good fit for Halloween: Bluebeard and The Worn Out Dancing Shoes. So come and join us as we discuss among other things murderous bearded husbands who feel morally superior, magic shoes that exist only to fill in an adaptation created plot hole, and the scariest thing of all: Our aging millenial bodies. 

Blood of Beasts (2005)

It's the spooky season so we're doing our best to find movies with even a hint of the Halloween spirit in them, which brings us to the not-really-spooky-but-it's-better-than-nothing Blood of Beasts. Blood of Beasts is the third film we're taking a look at from Director David Lister, and it turns out third times the charm as this was the film we enjoyed the most from him. Does that mean it's an incredible film? Well no, but there are some cool bits that we'll be discussing in this episode. So come and join us as we discuss among other things odd beast design choices, Gaston-wannabes and their weird braided bangs, and what it takes to become Odin's special little guy. 

SpacePOP: Princess Power (2017)

This week we're taking a look at SpacePOP, a strange movie from an even stranger product line that we're assuming was created to try and get a piece of the Monster High demographic-pie. Just swap out the monsters for alien Princesses and you've got a hit on your hands, right? Well, not quite, but SpacePOP sure gave it the old college try, with a line of books, clothes, toys, make-up, and of course, a movie. So come and join us as we discuss among other things the "mystery" of how SpacePOP came to be, green skinned alien dudes and their anti-climactic makeovers, and our sympathy for overworked and under appreciated animators everywhere. 

Ella and the Little Sorcerer (2021)

Dust off your magic wands and hang onto your nearest sentient cloud person, this week we're diving into "Ella and the Little Sorcerer". This film is a direct sequel to a previous film we covered, "Cinderella and the Secret Prince". Does it manage to keep the madcap energy of the original film?... Well, no sadly it doesn't. But we're gonna watch it and talk about it anyway! So come and join us as we discuss among other things abrupt endings, plot threads that are left to dangle in the breeze, the myriad of ways we could rewrite this movie if given the chance.

The Secret of Moonacre (2008)

What do you get when you mix half of Klasky Csupo, a children's fantasy novel from the 1940s, and a dash of Tim Curry all together? You get the subject of this week's episode: The Secret of Moonacre. This film is one of those movies that kinda tows the line between "Good" and "Just kind of average", but it does have a special something to it that I think certain audiences would latch onto. Just maybe don't use Sir Benjamin as an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. Join us as we discuss among other things prideful prophecies, terrible uncles and the women who (Somehow) love them, and a completely unrelated tangent about a Christian puppet series that Kristi got weirdly fixated on.

The Frog Prince (Cannon Movie Tales, 1986)

This week we're taking yet another look at a Frog Prince adaptation, this time from the infamous Cannon Films. Primarily known for their low-budget action films, in the 1980s Cannon decided to branch out into the fairytale market with their "Cannon Movie Tales" series, of which The Frog Prince was their first entrant. Come and join us as we discuss among other things horrible older sisters and their mirror smashing ways, making your uncle king cry tears of joy, and whether or not Little Orphan Annie has anything to do with this film not getting a region 1 DVD release. 

The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea (2000)

We're following up our look at the 1989 Little Mermaid by diving into its direct-to-VHS sequel, The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea. This film is often criticized as just being a retread of the original, but how does it really stack up? And was it worth Kristi taking 15 years to finish watching it? You'll have to listen along to find out! So come and join us as we discuss among other things the brilliance (or laziness?) of reusing villains, giving up too easily when magic can solve all your troubles, and why stacking VCR's on top of big screen TV's leads to long lines at the gas station. 

The Little Mermaid (Disney, 1989)

It's July, and that means we're celebrating my birthday by taking a look at yet another good Princess movie: Disney's 1989 classic The Little Mermaid! What else can be said about this film that hasn't been already?... Well I'm not sure exactly, but that's not gonna stop us from revelling in our childhood nostalgia and talking about it anyways! So come and join us as we discuss among other things troublesome teenagers, villains who unashamedly love being evil, and the overall warm fuzzies that this film gives us. 

Barbie and the Diamond Castle (2008)

We felt like we could use a palette cleanser after nearly losing our minds in the last episode so we decided to take a quick sojourn into the much calmer Barbie film series with this week's movie: Barbie and the Diamond Castle. This one sits at the crossroads between the very much beloved early Barbie films of the early 2000s and the seldom discussed Barbie movies of the 2010s, so we're taking a look to see which side of the fence this film falls on for us. So join us as we discuss among other things stalkerish suitors, sparkly dogs that have no business dancing like that, and the distressing lack of a full villain song for our beloved Kathleen Barr.