Bad Princess Movies

Mirrormask (2005)

Boo! As in "Boo, there's not many Halloweeny movies about Princesses" so we're doing the best we can with this week's entrant, the dark fantasy Mirrormask. This film has quite the pedigree, having been produced by the Jim Henson Company, directed by artist Dave McKean, and written by Neil Gaiman. So why isn't this film more well known and celebrated? Maybe it's got something to do with the terrifying sphinx creatures? Join us as we discuss among other things the pitfalls of greenscreens, exposition witches, and tangents about Mac Tonight and Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Kids. 

Swan Princess 9: Kingdom of Music (2019)

To kick off October we're taking a look at a very spooky and totally in-season movie... Swan Princess 9: Kingdom of Music. Okay so it's not really a traditional Halloween movie, but what's scarier than the producer's love for Jean-Bob, and the harsh reality that he's going to keep showing up in these movies? Join us as we discuss among other things weird American Idol parodies, how Prince Li is a much better guy than Lucas, and how much we enjoyed this currently penultimate entrant in the Swan Princess series, Jean-Bob be damned. 

The Princess Twins of Legendale (2013)

This week we're taking a look at The Princess Twins of Legendale, a little known Princess movie brought to us by MGA Entertainment (Better known for their various doll lines like Bratz and LOL Surprise). With that in mind you'd think that this movie was meant to launch a toy line right? Well, maybe that was the plan, but we sure can't find any evidence any dolls were released. Join us as we discuss among other things this missing doll line, macguffin amulets that may or may not be magic, and a brief tangent about who is the reigning Tumblr Sexymen. 

Swan Princess 8: A Royal Myztery (2018)

We are on a mission to get caught up with the Swan Princess series by the end of the year, so that means we've got to uncover the secret of the 'Z' in Swan Princess 8: A Royal Myztery (Maybe the true 'myztery' is how this series is still going on strong after 8 sequels). Join us as we discuss among other things unnecessary subplots involving ghosts, gaslighting cats into catching rats for you, and repeated tangents about the movie Quest for Camelot. 

Beauty and the Beast (Disney, 1991)

We're back from hiatus to talk about yet another good Princess movie, this time we're checking out Disney's 1991 classic Beauty and the Beast (We'll get back to the bad princess movies in short order, sometimes you just gotta treat yourself by reviewing one of the best Princess movies out there). Join us as we discuss among other things amazing transformations, animating female characters, and the most important conversation of all: Gaston's chest hair. 

Avengers Grimm: Time Wars (2018)

Today we're returning to the Asylum's and their attempt to crib off the MC universe, we're taking a look at Avengers Grimm: Time Wars. It's almost a shame that we're unlikely to see another entrant in the Avengers Grimm-verse because Time Wars improves on the first movie by being much more baffling (i.e., entertaining) to watch. So come and join us as we discuss among other things Zapp Brannigan-esque Prince's, terrible old age make-up, and how much fun the actors probably had while filming this terribly silly movie. 

My Sweet Monster (2022)

A few months ago Pauly Shore took the bad movie side of the internet by storm with his memorable voice acting performance in "Pinocchio: A True Story". Thankfully for bad princess movie fans Pauly Shore also lent his vocal talents to this film, "My Sweet Monster". Come and join us as we discuss among other things Mr. Shore's singing voice, fake Prince's and the women who love them, the few highlights in an otherwise terrible movie, and the most important lesson of all: how you gotta have blue hair. 

Cinderella (2021)

What do you get when you take the tried-and-true Cinderella story and mix in just a dash of that girl-boss energy? You get 2021's Cinderella, a jukebox musical that for a while was best known for its traffic-stopping flash mob featuring James Corden in a mouse costume gyrating at cars. This movie got pretty well lambasted on social media, but how do the (self-appointed) experts on Bad Princess movies feel about it? Join us as we discuss among other things unfunny mice friends, lacklustre dress design, and whether or not this film delivered on the "Girl Boss Cinderella" hype. 

Freddie as F.R.O.7., AKA Freddie the Frog (1992)

We're wrapping up our April Prince month with a real banger! This week we're taking a look at Freddie as F.R.0.7, a movie that is best summed up with the following Youtube comment: "This movie made a lot more sense to me when I was five". Join us as we discuss among other things uncomfortable flirting between woman and frog, which Canadian monuments an evil genius would want to steal, and why the stories you tell your son at bedtime maybe don't make for the best movie. 

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1989)

Wake up sleepyheads! We're kicking off our April Prince month by taking a look at Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland. This movie was stuck in development hell for almost a decade, so you'd think it would be a bit of a disaster right? Well in our humble opinions Little Nemo is a really enjoyable film, one of those films that is good with or without the sheen of nostalgia. Join us as we discuss among other things punchable clowns, catchy songs, and spooky doors and the nightmare-inducing contents within them.