Bad Princess Movies

BONUS: Season 2 Podcast Retrospective

We're wrapping up the second season of the Bad Princess Movie podcast with another retrospective episode where we attempt (Emphasis on attempt) to talk about the past season as a whole. As you might expect, things quickly devolve into us gabbing about other topics, like childhood nostalgia and our beloved ReBoot. 

 

Thanks for tuning into our second season! Season 3 will be starting up sometime in January 2022.

Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (1997)

For our last episode of the year we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, a direct-to-video "midquel" that dares to ask the question "What if the Beast just continued being a huge jerk to Belle?". This is the third direct-to-video offering put out by Disney in the 90s and it definitely shines as an example of what people dislike about the Disney sequels. So join us as we discuss the problem with midquels, Kristi's love of the original film, and the saving grace of this movie: Tim Curry's melodious voice. 

Nutcracker The Untold Story/The Nutcracker in 3D (2010)

Nutcracker November is coming to an end and we've saved the best (worst?) for last. We're taking a look at Nutcracker: The Untold Story, also known as Nutcracker in 3D, an infamous box office bomb that Roger Ebert once said "may send children screaming under their seats". Join us as we discuss among other things odd music choices, Christmas-time body horror, and beloved magic pebbles that may or may not have been stolen by a famous German Physicist. 

 

The Nuttiest Nutcracker (1999)

Nutcracker November continues with a look at the Nuttiest Nutcracker, an early CGI entrant from our old friends at Golden Films. The Nuttiest Nutcracker appears to be Golden Films' only foray into the world of CGI animation, and while it went over like a lead balloon we can at least give them points for trying. So come and join us as we discuss the possible VeggieTales connection, annoying characters, various animation flubs, and Bri's immense hatred for this movie. 

The Nutcracker (Goodtimes Entertainment/Jetlag Productions, 1995)

Come one, come all, we're kicking off the holiday season with our first official "Nutcracker November", where we're gonna spend the entire month looking at various adaptations of E.T.A. Hoffman's "The Nutcracker and the Mouse King". First up is this 1995 entrant from Goodtimes Entertainment. This adaptation is one of the more faithful ones out there, which will provide a good foundation for the madness that is yet to come. So join us as we discuss adorable seven-headed mice, not so adorable Nutcrackers, and how impossible it is to steer a crazy carpet down a snow covered hill. 

Twitches Too (2007)

In our second Halloween-ish episode we take a look at Twitches Too, a sequel that... really has nothing to do with Halloween aside from the main characters being Witches. Join us as we discuss the aforementioned lack of Halloween representation in this film, unnecessary subplots, and this podcast's most frequently recurring topic: Royalty being royal jerks.

Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale (2010)

In today's vaguely Halloween related episode we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale, a 2010 movie that seeks to answer that age old question of "What if Belle wore a miniskirt though?". This is an R-rated version of the Beauty and the Beast story that tries to lure you in with gratuitous cleavage on the DVD cover and the promise that a couple of peasants will have their arms ripped off (assuming that's what you're into). Join us as we discuss the laundry habits of medieval peasants, party city set decorations, and everyone's favourite Beauty and the Beast character: an exposition spouting old man named Otto. 

Dazzle, AKA The Fairy Princess: Secret of the Crystal (1999)

In this episode we're taking a look at Dazzle, a 1999 movie that was re-released as The Fairy Princess: The Secret of the Crystal in an attempt to trick unsuspecting viewers into thinking that this movie 1. Featured a Fairy Princess and 2. Had some kinda mystery to solve involving a crystal. As it turns out, this movie has neither of those things, but it does have Maxwell Caulfield in a non-Grease 2 role (Which was a selling point for me at least!). Join us as we discuss dated 90s era "jokes", bad wigs, disastrous school plays, and much more! 

Princess Arete (2001)

In today's episode we're taking a look at Princess Arete, a thought provoking film that follows a young Princess as she struggles to not only find her place in the world, but save herself from a self-hating Wizard. Join us for yet another episode of "Kristi makes Bri watch a Princess movie that isn't actually bad, because it's her Podcast and she'll do what she wants with it". We'll discuss hopeless endeavours, unwanted suitors, and the magic that exists in the heart of everyday people. 

Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper (2004)

We're celebrating our return from hiatus by discussing my favourite Barbie film: Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper. While there have been many, many Barbie films that came after it, none have managed to capture my cold-withered heart as strongly as this film. Come and join us as we discuss the overall quality of the Barbie film series, transparently evil Royal Advisors, and our intense 90s-kid nostalgia for all things Mainframe Entertainment.