Bad Princess Movies

Twitches Too (2007)

In our second Halloween-ish episode we take a look at Twitches Too, a sequel that... really has nothing to do with Halloween aside from the main characters being Witches. Join us as we discuss the aforementioned lack of Halloween representation in this film, unnecessary subplots, and this podcast's most frequently recurring topic: Royalty being royal jerks.

Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale (2010)

In today's vaguely Halloween related episode we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale, a 2010 movie that seeks to answer that age old question of "What if Belle wore a miniskirt though?". This is an R-rated version of the Beauty and the Beast story that tries to lure you in with gratuitous cleavage on the DVD cover and the promise that a couple of peasants will have their arms ripped off (assuming that's what you're into). Join us as we discuss the laundry habits of medieval peasants, party city set decorations, and everyone's favourite Beauty and the Beast character: an exposition spouting old man named Otto. 

Dazzle, AKA The Fairy Princess: Secret of the Crystal (1999)

In this episode we're taking a look at Dazzle, a 1999 movie that was re-released as The Fairy Princess: The Secret of the Crystal in an attempt to trick unsuspecting viewers into thinking that this movie 1. Featured a Fairy Princess and 2. Had some kinda mystery to solve involving a crystal. As it turns out, this movie has neither of those things, but it does have Maxwell Caulfield in a non-Grease 2 role (Which was a selling point for me at least!). Join us as we discuss dated 90s era "jokes", bad wigs, disastrous school plays, and much more! 

Princess Arete (2001)

In today's episode we're taking a look at Princess Arete, a thought provoking film that follows a young Princess as she struggles to not only find her place in the world, but save herself from a self-hating Wizard. Join us for yet another episode of "Kristi makes Bri watch a Princess movie that isn't actually bad, because it's her Podcast and she'll do what she wants with it". We'll discuss hopeless endeavours, unwanted suitors, and the magic that exists in the heart of everyday people. 

Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper (2004)

We're celebrating our return from hiatus by discussing my favourite Barbie film: Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper. While there have been many, many Barbie films that came after it, none have managed to capture my cold-withered heart as strongly as this film. Come and join us as we discuss the overall quality of the Barbie film series, transparently evil Royal Advisors, and our intense 90s-kid nostalgia for all things Mainframe Entertainment.

Avengers Grimm (2015)

This week we're taking our first look at Avengers Grimm, a film from the infamous mockbuster movie company The Asylum (Creators of films like Transmorphers, Lord of the Elves, and Sharknado). Avenger's Grimm mixes together two of the mid-2010's hottest shows: Marvel's Avengers and Disney's Once Upon a Time. Join us as we discuss princess costumes (or rather, the lack thereof) silver Lou Ferrigno's, and much, much more! 

Swan Princess 6: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today (2016)

This week we return to the Swan Princess universe for the 6th film in the series: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today. Swan Princess 6 isn't as madcap as the previous films but it's important we give it a watch because from here on out the Swan Princess continuity becomes a tightly woven tapestry from which we cannot escape. So join us as we discuss Odette's patronizing attitude towards poor peasants, tonally weird Kitchen Nightmares references, Lord Rogers' easy-to-miss wardrobe malfunction, and much, much more!

The Princess and the Dragon (2018)

Today we're taking a look at The Princess and the Dragon, a 2018 CGI film with so many loose story threads that we found ourselves weaving together alternative plots. This is one of those films that looks pretty decent visually but fails completely in the story department. Join us as we discuss the disappearing/reappearing Queen, the many baffling song choices, and my inability to let go of a DVD copy of Labyrinth once it's entered my possession. 

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007)

This week we're taking a look at the infamous Cinderella III: A Twist in Time. It turns out there's a helluva lot more to this movie than that infamous moment where the Prince throws himself through a window (Though that is definitely a highlight, don't get me wrong). Join us as we discuss Anastasia's awesome character development, nightmare pumpkin rides, and the perks of being able to fit into tiny shoes. 

Galgameth (1996)

In the spirit of April Fools the Bad Princess Movie podcast is taking a look at a movie featuring a Prince! Join us as we discuss the secret Kaiju movie Galgameth (1996), an odd little film that somehow managed to win us over despite the terrifying design of it's titular character. We'll be discussing the very unexpected history of the film, dog-hating villains, creepy monster costumes, and so much more!